Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The logic of “choice”

“Don’t be surprised if casual sex outside of relationships becomes far more difficult to come by.” –Ben Sherman, explaining the “drawbacks” of reduced access to abortion

This is the story of Sheila, a modern woman. Armed with feticidal drugs and technologies as well as government subsidies, Sheila asserted absolute autonomy over herself and the reproductive process in ways her grandmother never imagined. Not only did she decide whether that is a human being gestating in her womb, she also determined what the father’s role was to be, if any.

Freed from the responsibilities and expectations that pushed him to become a good man, Shaun embraced his minimized role of pleasure seeker/incidental sperm donor with relish. He came to view Sheila’s body not as a temple to worship but as an amusement park ride. His boyhood fantasy had come true: He could have all the sex he wanted and none of the consequences.

For Sheila, the amusement was fleeting. As her biological clock ticked down, the tug of her instincts towards motherhood became undeniable. Seemingly overnight, her criteria for a mate changed. She wanted a strong, caring man; a reliable man; the kind of man who didn’t let her down in her time of need. Most importantly, she wanted just one.

She looked at the same pool of men she’d been screwing for years, and those who met her new criteria were few and far between. She wondered, “Where are the good men?”

She looked closely at Shaun. He couldn’t make a good husband, let alone a good father. He was lazy and irresponsible. He didn’t have it together. He didn’t aspire to anything greater than himself. She had never asked him to be anything greater than himself. He had spent his entire adulthood conceding her and other women’s long-term care to other forces. Set in his ways, he was unlikely to change.

Too late, Sheila realized her mistake. The inequality she believed women suffered alone actually cut both ways. While her biology dictated babies gestate in her and not in her male partners, Shaun’s biology dictated he must compete for her approval and trust. It was this foundation of her faith in him, which was his burden to cultivate, that enabled her to lean on him and imperil her well-being to bear the fruit of their union. At least, that’s how it was supposed to happen.

It seemed a foregone conclusion, yet it had taken a lifetime to learn. “Choice” had undermined Sheila’s half of her complementarity with men, and it had also undermined Shaun’s half, setting a blight of irresponsibility and untrustworthiness upon men.

“Where are the good men?” Sheila asked again, but this time she had the answer. “I forsook them.”

This article was adapted from “Victimhood is power” at the Red Pill Report.

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