Monday, March 4, 2013

Sexual availability

Mike Wise, an otherwise silly Washington Post sports columnist, has a point in his article about NFL scouts asking players at the combine whether they “like girls.”

It’s stupid and criminal that after [Dave] Kopay’s pioneering moment four decades ago, a former University of Colorado tight end named Nick Kasa had to endure an inquiry at last week’s NFL combine that began, “Do you like girls?”


You can answer however you want. You can’t prove a negative. You can’t prove you’re not gay. New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey and Family Ties matriarch Meredith Baxter were married and had children. They’re both gay. Think about that. On what measure am I, a single childless man, more “straight” than McGreevey? Baxter, a gay woman, mothered five children, more than most straight women. This is confusing to people who think in convenient categories like “gay” and “straight.” But sexuality is so much more complex than these monolithic terms indicate.

Do fleeting thoughts or evolved tastes constitute a permanent identity embodied in the word “gay”? Hardly. Imagine the absurd forms the same question the NFL scouts asked Nick Kasa might take:

  • How many girlfriends have you had? Did you have sex with any of them?
  • Have you ever gotten an erection in the locker room?
  • What percentage of your sexual fantasies involve one or more men?

None of these approach the real issue that concerns us who worry about homosexual attraction and gender integration in team showers and military units: sexual availability.

When you announce your sexual availability in a professional and/or emotionally intimate setting, shit happens. Primal energies, let loose, distract from the corporate purpose, endangering the mission. Just ask the aforementioned McGreevey, whose extramarital affair torpedoed his governorship; or American hero David Petraeus; or former Lockheed Martin executive Christopher Kubasik.

In other NFL combine news, hottie Lauren Silberman (pictured left) blew it during kicking tryouts. Thank God. Men were not meant to compete against women. Despite their best efforts to emulate the dress and attitude of men, women—especially single women in their peak years of fertility—ooze sexual availability. For men, it is a conflicting torrent of emotions to want her and to compete against her at the same time.

Professional women with equal skills on an ostensibly “level playing field” surpass men in the sexual marketplace. His value at work is his only currency, whereas hers is supplemented by the potentiality to bear his children.

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